Lord, show me why you have brought me here.

Hi friends!

It's a chilly evening here in my office in Liberton, but at least the sun was out earlier! The leaves can't quite compare with Ohio, but there is still a multitude of color out there. 

I was able to get home to Ohio for a sunny, delightful, autumnal week in October, bookended by a friend's wedding and CCS's Fall Banquet/20th anniversary celebration. It was an amazing and packed week, and included so many great things (like picking my nephew Ben up from kindergarten! and teaching English at CCS! and bossing students around at the Fall Banquet!) and so many mundane, familiar things...fast food drive-thru has never been so exciting. :)

For as lovely as it was, though, at no point did I regret moving to Scotland, or wish that I didn't have to go back. I guess the best way to describe it would be wishing I could be in two places at once, and somehow merge these two worlds. Though when I think about it, that's a familiar feeling anyway- I still feel that about college, and about several missions teams, especially the one last summer at the London Olympics. 

Lord, show me why you have brought me here.

The "Messy Church" skit of Jesus calming the storm- a great "crew"!

Increasingly, I feel like I have a handle on the regular tasks of being a Children's Worker at Liberton Kirk- the Sunday clubs, Sunday "Buzz" once a month, helping with "Messy Church" once a month, doing a monthly All-Age talk during the Sunday church service, the after-school "Transformers" program at a local elementary school- all things that I've done at least twice now. We're also looking ahead to the Christmas children's service, which I'm in charge of, so I'm putting the finishing touches on a Nativity script and that will be under way soon. It'll be lovely to do a bit of directing again, and really, you just cannot lose with toddler sheep and lisping angels! :-)

Events like...a girls movie night! :-)

I've also just received my own account with Young Life, so I'm praying and working through my approach to fundraising a part-time salary for my work here. I've probably explained this, but I really have two separate jobs- one with Liberton Kirk as a Children's Worker 12 hrs a week (doing all the things in the paragraph above, with an hourly wage), and then as part-time staff with Young Life 20 hours a week (doing teenage-focused relational outreach work in the schools, two weekly evening clubs, and other events, as well as some training time). For the latter, I'll be asking friends and family to help support those 20 hours of work, and doing my best to share what God is doing over here. So, the next post will have more specifics about what the YL work looks like, and I'll also share some testimonies of how God has been taking care of me financially in the interim. (Most people raise support and then work, but I'm doing it a bit backwards!)

Lord, show me why you have brought me here.

As you may have gathered by now, that question has been on the front of my mind, especially since returning from Ohio a few weeks. I'm feeling more competent with much of the "what" in my jobs, and working on the "how", but really, the "why" is what matters. Both Liberton Kirk and Young Life have lots of existing structures for me to fit into, but I've been asking the Lord to show me how my gifts, experience, words, knowledge, personality, and identity are to be used. Why me? Why now? Why here? Why them? 

At home and at CCS, I knew exactly who I was to other people, and what I could offer, and how, and when. Which is why it was so delightful, for a week, to slip back into that and feel confidence in myself and from others that I knew what I was doing. It takes time to build that up somewhere new, and also grace from others and especially from myself. But I can feel the roots slowly starting to grow again.

I had a spontaneous coffee date with my new friend Nikki last night after an event at the church, and as we chatted, I started to realize ways that I can reach out more to specific people, and areas and relationships where I think I may have something to offer. It was eye-opening, and really an answer to the prayer, "Lord, show me why you have brought me here". And it was just great to share coffee with a friend! :-)

Five of us share an office in a house room...fun times! :-)

I feel like I have so many other thoughts swirling around, but if I wait until they all settle to post this, then it will be another several weeks!...and I don't want that. One thing I would love to do soon is "introduce" you to the other people in my office and YL volunteers, because we really are a delightful little team, if I do say so myself, and it would give more of a flavor of what my life is like over here. It's been encouraging and relaxing to feel friendships deepen, and to spend time sharing food, tea, phone chargers, games, moccasins, cars....life together. :-) Yep, I definitely need to capture that somehow here, because it has been a huge blessing. 

Ok, time to head home for the night, and see what's on the dinner menu...actually, it really is salmon and venison sausage tonight! Better watch a Poirot too. :-)

Verse of the night:

"21 In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. ²² And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit." Eph. 2:21-22

(There's a lot of food for thought there!...)

God bless you, friends! 

~Rachel

Hi there, friends!

    Well, I’ve not met my goal of blogging once a week, but...better late than never! It’s been just over 5 weeks now since I arrived in Edinburgh- feels like much less than that. 

    I’m writing this from the wee flat, with a riot of potted herbs and mini rosebushes next to me on the window seat. (Did I put those on the list of things I can’t pass up in a market?) Too quickly, there probably won’t be enough daylight to 

Friends, I can't stop buying them!

sustain them, so I’ll enjoy them for now. As I look around, I can’t put my finger on what makes the flat look much more “lived in” than a couple weeks ago...probably just the random clutter! Fleece and purse thrown on the chair, basket of important and not-important papers, Kleenex box, skewed dish towels on the oven handle, dishes drying, half-burned candles, computer cords here and there. Small but noticeable signs of life, in other words. 

    It probably helps that last night, I had my first guests over- nothing makes you take ownership of a place like identifying it to others as your home, I guess! It was so lovely to have other people over- two friends/co-workers in Young Life here, and a newly-arrived couple who visited the church last week. So, four Americans and one German, sitting on a blanket on the floor around the coffee table, sharing dinner, tips for living in Edinburgh, and best of all, conversation!...part of which included reminiscing about Yanni and mid-nineties kids movies (The Big Green?...Richie Rich?...The Mighty Ducks?). All in all, absolutely delightful. I’m so glad I didn’t let a little thing like not enough table space, chairs, or forks stop me from inviting four guests!

    After several weeks of shadowing various events/programs at the church, I’ve started to slip into regularly helping with and even organizing certain things. The role of “Children’s Worker” is so much more multi-faceted than simply the Sunday School program. Part of that is because there are regular visits to the elementary school (still wrapping my head around the lack of “separation of church and state”), and also supporting any other events that intersect with kids aged 3-12. One of these is “Messy Church”, which at Liberton Kirk, happens on the last Saturday of the month. Briefly, Messy Church is a time of crafts, games, worship, a Bible story, and a shared meal that is geared toward young families in a community who might not come to a traditional Sunday morning service. The “rule” is that no kid can get in without an adult, and no adult can get in without a kid- so it promotes parents and children participating together, or another adult relative or neighbor bringing them.

  

Sunday Club leaders' dinner at Pizza Express- great tradition!

    This past Saturday was my first time experiencing Messy Church, and I was absolutely amazed. There were about 60 kids (most aged 3-7) and over 40 adults with them, plus about 25 helpers. Of those kids, I did not see a single one who seemed shy or ill at ease- every kids was diving into the crafts and games, dragging their parent/adult to different stations, and having a blast! They were all engaged in the short worship time as well, which for that age group, says a lot. Even better, their parents were all singing the worship songs too, simply because their kids were so involved- just amazing. For the Bible story, I helped dramatize the Parable of the Lost Coin, and as a result, had about sixty little people looking for the “lost” coin with me! And though it’s hard to pick a “best” part, it was delightful to then all go into the main hall for some homemade pizza and sides, which the kitchen had been busy preparing. Sharing dinner with so many kids and families was just amazing. I can’t even put my finger on why- somehow, the fact that many aren’t Christian is what made it so special- without even realizing it, they were experiencing something incredibly biblical. I know that God is using it to plant and water seeds!

   In addition to the work with the church, I’ve also been attending/helping at Delta (which is essentially the Young Life club in the area) on Friday evenings, and with Connection Groups (which are basically Campaigners in the US) on Sunday evenings. I’m working up to getting into the high schools as well, and another youth worker and myself have set a date to start offering composition tutoring to students. One highlight last week was attending PowerPoint, which is a night of worship and teaching that happens about every six weeks. The students were so excited leading up to it that I knew it must be good- and it was great! I think around 1,100 students and leaders gathered together, and there was such a awesome positive spirit in the building. Lots of kids went up for prayer and commitments to living a life honoring to God- so encouraging to see!

"Transformers"- after-school Christian program for elementary kids

     For those that have asked, I’m farther along in the application process for Young Life, and will hopefully start raising support soon. I’m a bit non-traditional in that I felt led to move when I did (before raising support), but the Lord put the end of August on my heart, and it was perfect timing to start the other part-time job at the church. And, I’ve been able to meet the other Young Life staff here, and many of the kids, and get involved in lots of the group activities. Through generous friends over the summer, God has provided above and beyond my needs for right now, so I’m happy for him to guide the timeline of my work unfolding with Young Life. They have excellent mechanisms in place to prepare and develop new international staff, and I don’t want to rush that. 

    On that note of God's guidance, this may sound a bit funny, but as I prayed over the summer about when and how exactly to move, I kept a question mark around this coming week in October. A dear family friend is getting married on Saturday (woohoo, Erika and Tom!!), and six days later is CCS’s Fall Banquet/20^th anniversary celebration. I knew in my head that it probably would look ridiculous to come back so quickly after moving, and that when you move internationally, you accept that you can’t be at every event you’d like to be, but....the idea of coming back for those events just never went away. 

    I’m sharing this just because it’s been a major struggle for me, and when I was finally honest with myself (only a week or two ago), what it boiled down to was not confusion about what the Lord was saying (“You need to be home for this time.”), but 1) a fear of what others would think, 2) feeling like the money could be better spent, and 3) feeling guilty for asking for time to go home after just starting new work. So, after going back and forth a lot, I came to realize that if God is saying something (obviously scriptural and in keeping with His character), there’s no such thing as a legitimate reason not to do it. 

    

    Not even sure why I’m prompted to write all this out, but maybe there is someone dealing with something similar- meaning, having a list of really good reasons to ignore the quiet, gentle, so-ignorable voice of the Lord. Or maybe it’s just that I need to face my distaste for sharing a personal struggle with anyone other than close friends/family. Either way, I encourage you (and me): ignoring God’s leading cannot possibly benefit whoever you may be trying to help more than following His leading would. It may seem like it might on the surface, but think about it: He knows the full reason behind it all...do we?

    Well, that came a bit out of left field...back to what I was saying- I’ll be in Ohio for a week starting Friday, for known and unknown reasons! :-) Now that I'm at peace with it, I can say that I am so, so, so excited to see my family (all the siblings will overlap...that's getting rare!), friends, church, and definitely CCS...dying to teach an English class or two! And hopefully I will see lots of people at the Fall Banquet...one of my favorite CCS events. :-)

    It’s far too late and this is long enough for now, so I’ll leave you with a lovely little verse:

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace.” Romans 15:13

Amen!